Sunday, July 12, 2009

Peeing outside at night.

Let's talk weein' outside for a moment. Just about any fella who grew up in a fairly isolated area has likely developed a profound appreciation for peeing outside at night. Having lived in San Francisco for the past few years, this is a pleasure I seldom get to enjoy.

The other night, while under the spell of some loco herbweed and overwhelmed with the need-2-pee I decided I'd just go out on my fire escape and go weewee into the parking lot below. I will have it known that it was about 2 or 3 in the morning and my fire escape is in a pretty dark and isolated area. And so I climbed out my window and withdrew my Weenis Peebringer. I looked up at the stars and began the ceremony. As soon as the tinkle began I became aware of the massive buildings in the distance. I quickly got nervous and the wee ceased to flow. I stood there scared for a moment and tried to zone out and look at the stars in attempt to continue what I had started. I looked down and saw the city lights reflected in my awkwardly distributed puddles of peeeepeeee. The pattern really spoke volumes about my feelings at the time. I flexed my mind for a moment before realizing the futility of my actions. I sheathed my weemaker and climbed back into my apartment. I took a seat on my couch and stared at the floor, I was both sad and scared. What am I doing here in a city surrounded by towers of people. People who would gladly put a quarter into one of those tourist telescopes so they could watch me pee. I have yet to think of a good answer to that question, and that is why we will likely be moving back to SLO sometime within the next couple of years.

(Alternate Ending: I grabbed my sprayfinger and screamed at it as though it were a microphone. It responded by covering me in its weeblo.)

New drawlin'

70's space alien feller... pen, marker & watercolor.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Some things I gots.

Hey wonderpeople. Went to the Alameda antique fair dealie today... Found a few excellent items that I am pretty pumped on:

Anatomical illustrations of diseased peens. (Over 150 years old and colored by hand.)

Baby being stolen out of a woman's vagina with forceps. (Around 100 yrs old.)

Illustration of various eye infections and irregularities. (Around 100 yrs old.)

Skull of a Roe Buck from Switzerland.

We hung it all up with some previously collected relics in our hallway:

Here's a close-up of the Stephen Kasner print that Megan got me for my birthday last year: