Sunday, November 15, 2009

omegle conversations

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: @lewisusher/jellybean?
You: yes
Stranger: yes what?
You: yes, jellybean please Signed, Lewis Usher
Stranger: here you go
You: oh thanks idiot
Stranger: what?
You: I was thanking you, idiot
Stranger: why am i idiot
Stranger: ?
You: you tell me stupid
Stranger: gaar meanie
Stranger: your not really lewis are you?
You: don't tell me who i am and who i amn't
Stranger: are you lewis though?
Stranger: ?
You: I am
You: and I amn't
Stranger: ok well if you are then you need to know that im @Bondie09
You: roger
Stranger: roger?
You: I can't believe you wanted to talk to a stranger
Stranger: i didnt i wanted to talk to lewis
You: lewis is strange
Stranger: who r u? are you roger?
You: I'm the nectar from your boner
You: the wind for your peen
Stranger: but im not a guy
You: you can have boner nectar and not be a guy
You: women are comprised of 28 percent boner nectar
You: that's actually more than guys
Stranger: umm what?!
Stranger: if you arent lewis then im gone
You: honey, have a seat
Stranger: im sitting
You: I'm going to tell you something
You: and it's not going to be easy
You: but keep in mind that it's the truth
Stranger: ok
Stranger: shhot
You: I'm not
Stranger: shoot*
You: ....
You: I.... I'm not Lewis
Stranger: nooooooo!
Stranger: thats sad sad new
Stranger: s
Stranger: but you have been fun
Stranger: twitter?
You: are you asking me if I twitter?
You: like twitter my vagina?
Stranger: tyes
You: yes, at night
Stranger: lol
Stranger: whats your twitter
You: it's a horizontal twitter of sorts, strong focus on clitoral stimulation]
Stranger: umm ok
Stranger: whats your @
You: cameroncairney@gmail.com
Stranger: your twitter @
You: I my twitter is usually at home
You: in bed or otherwise
You: usually in bed
Stranger: no whats your name on twitter
You: my name is the same as it is when I'm not twittering
You: it's not changed at all
Stranger: lol ur funny
You: I don't understand
Stranger: why?
You: explain everything you know
You: i'm confused
Stranger: ok one sec
Stranger: i know that im pretty cool and your funny and my tongue feels salty and i had subway for lunch, lizards can grow their tails back and umm jelly beans rock
You: you were the girl in juno, no?
You: loves it
Stranger: i unfortunately was not
You: you lie hahaha *flirts*
Stranger: haha oh you
You: we're great friends now, i like it
You: hey so what's your mom been up to?
You: yeah just goin to school
You: .... workin'
Stranger: yes we are like bffls
Stranger: yeah my mums being doin stuff
You: right on, that's good to hear
You: you guys still livin' in the same place?
You: yeah, yeah, no I totally feel ya
Stranger: yeah saame place same time u?
You: yeah
Stranger: good good
Stranger: hows your brother? (do you have a brother?)
You: no i lost my family in the tsunami, you know that
You: how rude
Stranger: omg im so sorry i just forgot coz your taking it so well
Stranger: oh crap imma have to go do you have twitter coz if you do follow me @Bondie09 and ill follow you then we'll talk
You: follow me home
You: so i can rape you
Stranger: no lol
You: trying to get me to follow YOUR twitter?
Stranger: yes
You: no, right on that's cool
You: no, i totally feel you
Stranger: kk well follow be and yeah
Stranger: me*
You: yeah I'll hang out on your page
You: probably most of the day tomorrow
Stranger: yeah you do that matey
You: kay
Stranger: bye bye now
You: well okay
You: goodbye then
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

--------------------------------------------------------

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: female with msn and webcam?
You: yes that describes me well
Stranger: whats ur msn?
You: who wants to know?
Stranger: me
You: state your name potential cyber-sex candidate
Stranger: phil
You: I need something to work with here if we're gonna do this
You: phil, that's a miserable faggot's name
You: give me a fake one, that'll have to do
You: We'll call you cumstain gaypoops
You: it's less gay than Phil
Stranger: ok :L
You: so I'll start
You: i'm all out of faith
You: this is how i feel
You: i'm laying naked on your floor spreading my vag
You: make your move
Stranger: do this on msn?
You: I dont' have that in my country
Stranger: webcam?
You: i might be able to dig one up
You: i'm surrounded by junk
Stranger: lol
You: it's hard to even hear you through all this junk
Stranger: do u have any pics?
You: yes i have pictures, yes
You: pictures of me i presume?
You: yes i have those
Stranger: can i see some :)
You: I can send you some of my favorite pictures
Stranger: ok :D
You: http://www.thegreatillusion.com/daydreams.jpg
You: it's all part of thegreatillusion.com
Stranger: hmmm
You: I'll build up to the pictures of me
You: and start off with my favorites
Stranger: cool
You: okay this next one is my fave band http://media.photobucket.com/image/stellar%20pic/emeek/Incubus%20Album%20Covers/Stellar.jpg
You: try it on for size
You: in your browser
Stranger: can i have a pic of u?
You: i get to show you 20 more of my favorite pics
You: then you unlock mepics
Stranger: ok
You: okay, but I need to ask you questions about each one so I know you looked at it
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
or save this log or send us feedback.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Exerpt from the short story Blagdaross by Lord Dunsany

And then there spoke the piece of an old cord. "I was made in a place of doom, and doomed men made my fibres, working without hope. Therefore there came a grimness into my heart, so that I never let anything go free when once I was set to bind it. Many a thing have I bound relentlessly for months and years; for I used to come coiling into warehouses where the great boxes lay all open to the air, and one of them would be suddenly closed up, and my fearful strength would be set on him like accurse, and if his timbers groaned when first I seized them, or if they creaked aloud in the lonely night, thinking of woodlands out of which they came, then I only gripped them tighter still, for the poor useless hate is in my soul of those that made me in the place of doom. Yet, for all the things that my prison-clutch has held, the last work that I did was to set something free. I lay idle one night in the gloom on the warehouse floor. Nothing stirred there, and even the spider slept. Towards midnight a great flock of echoes suddenly leapt up from the wooden planks and circled round the roof. A man was coming towards me all alone. And as he came his soul was reproaching him, and I saw that there was a great trouble between the man and his soul, for his soul would not let him be, but went on reproaching him.

"Then the man saw me and said, 'This at least will not fail me.' When I heard him say this about me, I determined that whatever he might require of me it should be done to the uttermost. And as I made this determination in my unfaltering heart, he picked me up and stood on an empty box that I should have bound on the morrow, and tied one end of me to a dark rafter; and the knot was carelessly tied, because his soul was reproaching him all the while continually and giving him no ease. Then he made the other end of me into a noose, but when the man's soul saw this it stopped reproaching the man, and cried out to him hurriedly, and besought him to be at peace with it and to do nothing sudden; but the man went on with his work, and put the noose down over his face and underneath his chin, and the soul screamed horribly.

"Then the man kicked the box away with his foot, and the moment he did this I knew that my strength was not great enough to hold him; but I remembered that he had said I would not fail him, and I put all my grim vigour into my fibres and held by sheer will. Then the soul shouted to me to give way, but I said:

"'No; you vexed the man.'

"Then it screamed for me to leave go of the rafter, and already I was slipping, for I only held on to it by a careless knot, but I gripped with my prison grip and said:

"'You vexed the man.'

"And very swiftly it said other things to me, but I answered not; and at last the soul that vexed the man that had trusted me flew away and left him at peace. I was never able to bind things any more, for every one of my fibres was worn and wrenched, and even my relentless heart was weakened by the struggle. Very soon afterwards I was thrown out here. I have done my work."

Saturday, October 3, 2009

New drawlins

This one is a work in progress:

This started off as a contour drawing and I liked the finished product so I decided to add versions of the character to the above drawing.


Oh, and a very brief attempt to add shadow in photoshop:

Friday, September 18, 2009

Marriage and a new drawing.

Hello all you all. Got married the other day, it was excellent. Went on a great old honeymoon in Big Sur. Stayed in a quaint little cabin and explored the forests and beaches of the area (pictures soon?). I made the mistake of watching the movie Antichrist a day before our wedding. Spectacular film, but quite unsettling. Anywho, here's a drawing I did while at the cabin (color/lighting effects courtesy of photoshop).

Monday, September 7, 2009

Little canvas.

Something I drew on a tiny canvas for Megan a few weeks ago.

Quick little mock-up eh?

Monday, August 31, 2009

Drawing.

Little somethin I drew up at 4 in the morning after a wyld nyte.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Quck lil' update.

Hello peenfolk. I bring to you two more recent drawings - neither of which are stellar - and an updated/modified drawing.



Sunday, August 16, 2009

Omegle.com antics

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: HI~
You: HEY YOU STRANGER FUCKIN PEENWEEN
Stranger: = ='''
You: looking for christian singles?
Stranger: r u crazy?
You: suck em out of my raunchy peenweenis
You: my peen breeds christian single babies
Stranger: i can't understand u
You: Well you see
You: sorry I started off crazy
You: what's your name?
You: My BF went raw on me a few months ago
You: and I am about to give birth to a christian single
Stranger: April
Stranger: and u?
You: from my peenween
You: My name is also April
You: do you ever get that feeling?
Stranger: oh really?
You: What month were you born?
You: answer the fuckin question april
Stranger: JULY
You: 3 months after...
You: april
Stranger: ok
You: I was also born in the month of July
Stranger: i never feel it
You: on the 4th?
You: were you born on the 4th?
Stranger: yes....
You: as was I
Stranger: ridiculous@@
Stranger: haha
You: it's crazy
Stranger: wow
You: just signing onto this website
You: running into your identical twin
You: so we should meet up
Stranger: how old are you
You: you first
Stranger: you can leave your msn?
You: what's msn?
You: MICROSOFT NETWORK
Stranger: msn messenger....
You: but what does msn stand for?
Stranger: yes
You: how old are you?
You: me too
Stranger: or you have any chat tool?
Stranger: 17
You: oh, yeah, me too
You: yeah I have this website called omegle that i use
Stranger: only this?
You: Yeah, what more do you need?
You: I leave the window open if I find a friend
Stranger: how do u chat with your family,friends?
You: I use my telephone
You: lol such a relic
Stranger: oh~~
Stranger: haha
You: remember the movie "THE RELIC"
Stranger: where r u come from?
You: Yeranus
Stranger: what's that movie taking about?
Stranger: talking
You: It's talking about like the sins of man and how they catch up with us through our history
You: "THE RELIC"
You: that's what ends up haunting us
Stranger: OKAY!!!i'll write down
You: yeah u gotta see it
You: we should go see it sometimes
You: you and I could become really close and great
Stranger: yes i thnk too
You: I'm glad I've found you
Stranger: think
You: so what do you want to do now that we are besties
Stranger: i want to practice my english
Stranger: me too
You: you should come sit in my beanbag chairs and play old games
You: relic games
You: like the NINTENDO ENTERTAINMENT RELIC
You: we can play some relic-style shit
Stranger: what old games?
You: THE RELIC the movie the game
You: THERELIC-themovie.com
You: do your research
Stranger: oh. u r addicted to this movie
You: yeah I am campaigning for it
Stranger: haha
You: my boss said to become best friends with as many people as I could and get them into this dope flick
You: You dig?
You: Hey when are we gonna go picnicing in the countryside
Stranger: dig?
Stranger: haha
You: We can frolick around in the grass and rent the relic
You: "YOU DIG" is a slang for like "are you into that notion?"
You: rather "Do you agree or support that notion?"
Stranger: sorry
Stranger: my english is not well
You: The notion of frolicking in the grass and renting the relic
You: your english is wyld
You: I can get behind your style of wyld english
You: you should bring it to the states
You: we'd all get behind that
You: and while we were back there behind it
You: we'd talk shit about it
You: you should stop by friday we can frolick to the theater and catch a movie
Stranger: wyld english what that?
You: the relic is playing 7:45 on thursday
Stranger: oh
You: YOU'VE BEEN SHOOTIN' THE SHIT WITH RELIC_BOT - CATCH THE RELIC THURSDAY NIGHT AT 7:45 ONLY ON TBS
Stranger: it's a old movie

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Peeing outside at night.

Let's talk weein' outside for a moment. Just about any fella who grew up in a fairly isolated area has likely developed a profound appreciation for peeing outside at night. Having lived in San Francisco for the past few years, this is a pleasure I seldom get to enjoy.

The other night, while under the spell of some loco herbweed and overwhelmed with the need-2-pee I decided I'd just go out on my fire escape and go weewee into the parking lot below. I will have it known that it was about 2 or 3 in the morning and my fire escape is in a pretty dark and isolated area. And so I climbed out my window and withdrew my Weenis Peebringer. I looked up at the stars and began the ceremony. As soon as the tinkle began I became aware of the massive buildings in the distance. I quickly got nervous and the wee ceased to flow. I stood there scared for a moment and tried to zone out and look at the stars in attempt to continue what I had started. I looked down and saw the city lights reflected in my awkwardly distributed puddles of peeeepeeee. The pattern really spoke volumes about my feelings at the time. I flexed my mind for a moment before realizing the futility of my actions. I sheathed my weemaker and climbed back into my apartment. I took a seat on my couch and stared at the floor, I was both sad and scared. What am I doing here in a city surrounded by towers of people. People who would gladly put a quarter into one of those tourist telescopes so they could watch me pee. I have yet to think of a good answer to that question, and that is why we will likely be moving back to SLO sometime within the next couple of years.

(Alternate Ending: I grabbed my sprayfinger and screamed at it as though it were a microphone. It responded by covering me in its weeblo.)

New drawlin'

70's space alien feller... pen, marker & watercolor.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Some things I gots.

Hey wonderpeople. Went to the Alameda antique fair dealie today... Found a few excellent items that I am pretty pumped on:



Anatomical illustrations of diseased peens. (Over 150 years old and colored by hand.)



Baby being stolen out of a woman's vagina with forceps. (Around 100 yrs old.)



Illustration of various eye infections and irregularities. (Around 100 yrs old.)



Skull of a Roe Buck from Switzerland.



We hung it all up with some previously collected relics in our hallway:



Here's a close-up of the Stephen Kasner print that Megan got me for my birthday last year:

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Introduction to my USB microscope: Cockroach and Bloodletting

Here are a couple videos I made with my USB microscope followed by some still photos.

A dying cockroach:


This is me poking my hand with a wood carving tool. It looks pretty brutal up close, but the resulting wound was literally a tiny speck on my hand.


Close up of my t-shirt:


Hanna's finger up close:


Eisenhower's profile on a dollar coin:


Muh woman's ring-bling:

Monday, June 29, 2009

The post Michael Jackson era of Rotten Yella.

Hello there everyone. If you are reading this, Michael Jackson is no longer with us. Many other unfortunate souls have also passed on since we last spoke. People from regions where talent is given no chance to thrive and develop. Perhaps among these corpses there is a body that may have been a more prominent and admirable "King of pop" if given the materials and life span. I think what I'm doing here is trying to express how annoyed I am with the media's response to his passing. Several days later there are still multiple MJ related headlines on Yahoo's front page. Some of these headlines have even stated that he died "before his time"... this strikes me as being blatantly untrue, and I think that even MJ himself may agree with me here. His "time" ended quite a few years ago, when he stopped releasing decent music and named his kid Blanket. His body even began decomposing at an alarming rate. The last time I recall seeing him in the news was when he was photographed hanging his son off of a balcony. A terrifying image it was; a ghastly husk of a man smirking as he dangled a frightened child off of a ledge... Acknowledge his passing by revisiting his music and dancing around with your wiener out, but do not weep for him my children, for even as a godless heathen I can say with some confidence that he is in a better place.

Anyway, here's the Rotten Yellow logo as it appeared on page with a little color modification. In addition you will see that I started to draw an Indian chief on the same page and lost interest.


Sunday, June 28, 2009

New look.

Hey peenworshippers. Got a new logo up and I plan on posting regularly again. I have a USB microscope that has been a great deal of fun. I'll post some stuff from that, and some new drawings and stuff. So keep your vaginas peeled.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

A small rant... a rantlette if you will.

Lemme just get this off my chest cause grinding my teeth brings no relief. There is a horrendous vocab trend afoot. I speak of the saying "I know right?" and it's little brother "right?". (Of course there was nothing wrong with "right?" until it was turned into a shortened version of "you know right?" and given the drastic change in pitch.) I can't take it anymore. It started off slowly and was easy to ignore; being used by horrendous television personalities and the occasional co-worker. But now it is a swollen beast gnashing its teeth at my door and being nourished and egged on by the lowest ends of the pop culture spectrum. It has come to people on the internet abbreviating it to "IKR" and print outs in the work place presenting "I know right?" as a vocabulary word in a dictionary. These people can save their syllables and sound infinitely less moronic by simply saying "I know." or "yes." Oh, and while I'm at it, I hate when people say "really?" as a substitute for "Are you kidding me?". I have no substantial reason to hate that one other than the fact that it just sounds idiotic and condescending.


There is also a lot to be said about "FAIL", "EPIC FAIL" and any form of "____ FAIL", recently made popular by the increasingly horrendous failblog. That shit is horrible. If you are unfamiliar, the blog consists of photos of various mistakes and mishaps that on their own contain a punchline and could maybe get a laugh out of somebody. However, to some garbage people they are not sufficient and require the word "FAIL" or "EPIC FAIL" in order to be escalated into the realm of comedic genius. Here's an example that makes me want to kick something with my bare foot just so I can have a tangible reason to be angry.




Aaaanyway, I know these are petty annoyances and that I am probably guilty of some pretty obnoxious shit, but I am entitled to hate whatever I please. And to be fair, I know some cool people who have adopted these sayings and am coming to terms with their new flaws.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Unbelievable video.

Bizarre and incredible.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

DVD blowout!

Hey peenpeople. Getting rid of some DVDs. I have too many (something like 340) and need to free up enough space to get rid of this giant shelf. Many of these DVDs I'm getting rid of are movies that I enjoy very much, but will probably never watch again. Anywho, I'm asking like 5 bucks a piece or 5 for 20 bucks. Also down to trade or something.

Kung Fu Hustle
Talk to Her
Running Scared
Lords of Dogtown
Hunted
King of the Cage (10 events, 101 fights, 20hrs)
Blade 2
Troy
The Illusionist
Behind enemy lines
Hostel
Matchstick Men
The Devil and Daniel Johnston
Derailed
Collateral
Hellboy: Sword of Storms (animated)
Da Ali G Show (First Season) ($7)
The Invincible Iron Man (animated)
The Thomas Crown Affair (remake with Pierce Brosnan)
Team America
Jarhead
What about Bob?
Six-String Samurai
A Beautiful Mind
Where the Money is
Final Destination
Final Destination 2
Final Destination 3
Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome (I have two copies so I'm getting rid of one)
Wolf Creek
The Red Violin
Inside Man
Saw
Saw 2
The Warriors Ultimate Director's Cut (Missing case but has cardboard sleeve)
North by Northwest
Cold Mountain
King of the Cage: The Fighers of Japan
Seven
Crank
Kingdom of Heaven
Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation
Snatch
Swing Kids
Labyrinth (Also a double I'm getting rid of)
Capote
Crash
The War
Stay
I Robot
Rebel without a cause
Minority Report
Freddy Vs. Jason
House of Wax
The Door in the Floor
The Whole Nine Yards
The Island
The Goonies (also a double)
Menace to Society
Orgazmo


Comment or E-mail if interested 360morganflip@gmail.com

Put some brutal guitar riffs behind this paragraph.

James Oliver Huberty will forever be remembered for one of the most shocking acts of violence in American history. Huberty, 41, was a welder in Ohio who had lost his job when the plant where he worked closed down. His volatile temper kept him from getting another job so he moved himself and his wife and kids to California where he got a job as a security guard. On July 18th, 1984 he tried to get help for his anger and called a mental health center for an appointment. When the clinic didn't call him back he began an hour-long violent encounter with his wife that ended with Huberty proclaiming "I'm going to hunt humans".

Sunday, March 22, 2009

NASA Pic of the day & Eyehategod - Anxiety Hangover

For a few years now I have been frequenting the NASA pic of the day website and today's pic is certainly one of the best yet. I particularly fancy the "pillar of smoky dust about 20 light years long" visible towards the right side of the photo.

Oh, and to contrast the new light-hearted layout I am posting a fan made Eyehategod video a friend showed me. It's a rather unpleasant compilation of footage that makes you want to get a houseboat and stay away from shore.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Conversations at work...

Guy1 at work asks Guy2 if he's seen Beerfest. Guy2 hasn't. Guy1 gasps in such a manner that you would think he had just witnessed some cosmic event or been punched in the stomach. Guy2 asks 'What's it rated?'. Guy1 responds 'It's Unrated'.

This is part one of an ongoing series.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Jenny McCarthy and a customized VHS Tape.

Listened to the newest episode of SGU today. It was a good one. They frequently bash celebrities who use their fame to push bullshit on the gullible masses, and recently they have focused their efforts towards Jenny McCarthy and her anti-vaccination campaigning. There is a whole lot to be said about that group and their claim that the Thimerosal (mercury-containing compound) found in vaccinations is giving children autism despite there being no scientific evidence to support that theory. Sadly her child was diagnosed with autism and naturally she wants somebody to blame, so she hopped on that bandwagon and became a prominent figure of the movement... So on the podcast they pointed out a recent quote of hers regarding botox injections:
"I love Botox, I absolutely love it. I get it minimally, so I can still move my face. But I really do think it's a savior."
So the biotch who has been making a stink over vaccination shots, and consistently reminding the public that mercury is the second most powerful neurotoxin known to man, is praising the number 1 most powerful neurotoxin known to man; Botulinum toxin. (Botox is simply a brand name applied to Botulinum toxin, known also as Botulism.) So they sez, they sez "It's okay to utilize the most powerful neuro-toxin known to man to make you pretty, but it's condemnable to use the second most powerful neuro-toxin to save lives and protect our children from disease."

---

Anyway, here's a project I did at work using some white-out, a pen and an old VHS tape found near my desk.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

A strange yearning.

There is a theorized video tape of Roy Horn (of Sigfried and Roy fame) getting his face violently chewed on by a colossal Bengal Tiger. I cry myself to sleep every night thinking about the video sitting alone in some dark vault, unwatched. Unloved. If only I could be with it... I hope that someday mankind can bathe in the light of this video and be filled with the wisdom and peace of mind that comes with watching a man lose his face in the mouth of a Tiger several times his size. I truly believe that the video could usher our species into the next golden age.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Mature photo manipulation.

At work I found myself thrown into a spontaneous fit of mature artistry. I understood the objectives of all the great painters and it empowered me to contribute to their collection of timeless art. Behold my creation:

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Tim and Eric

I've never been that big of an Adult Swim peenfan, but Tim and Eric is a great show. Here's some proof for you wildmen of the nectar province.





Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Dante's Inferno Video Game

I have been kind of ignoring this project for a while cause I figured it would be a generic hack'n'slash that held true to the book only in terms of the setting and a few characters... Still not sure if it's going to be any good, but if this trailer is any indication of the game's art direction and scale, then it is going to be a must play for the visuals alone.




Monday, February 23, 2009

Posting for the sake of posting.

So I picked up the Torche - In Return vinyl at Amoeba over the weekend. I have never been a huge vinyl collector. I pretty much only buy tour records and any hot deals I come across in record stores, but this album has such a stellar layout and I truly do miss the days of having a tangible version of my favorite albums. As seen in the photos it has the album on disc AND record, it's just great.


Also, for fun I included this photo of me rocking out in my 'work' space with all my childish possessions. I wasn't listening to any music when the picture was taken. I wasn't even thinking about music, I was rocking out to the memory of some cool movies I had recently watched.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Turkey drawing progress.

So about a week ago or maybe more, a friend who I will just refer to as Courtney, female companion of my dear gentlefriend Derek, told me to draw somethin' and when I asked just what I should draw she presented me with this photo:


Most people have seen that my drawing techniques are pretty much incapable of capturing any kind of charm or cuteness, so I did some research (previous post) and took my own swing at the modern turkey as we know it. Here is the current state of the drawing, I wanted to get it scanned in because I will likely ruin it when I add watercolor and/or add a body. Kind of a bad scan, but bear with me. Or shall I say TURKEY with me. No, that's stupid.

(click for big)

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Turkeys

I've been pretty pumped on turkey's for about a week now. Eating them on sandwiches and calling people turkeys and stuff makes you forget that they are pretty fantastic looking animals. Their feathers form quite an elegant and beautiful pattern to contrast the disgusting texture of their heads... But even their heads showcase some nice colors and look rather pretty when you blur your eyes a little. Here's some proof that these underrated birds rival the peacocks with their magnifacence.




Think about how much more respect we'd give turkeys if they didn't have those revolting wattles hanging from their faces. This one looks like an elderly man's scrotum.

Monday, February 9, 2009

Music Video

If you watch one music video in 2009 make it this one:

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Milk containing pus: Fact or Fiction?

So I've been listening to a podcast for the past year or so called The Skeptic's Guide to the Universe. It's basically a science podcast that specializes in debunking pseudo scientific claims and practices such as Homeopathy, Creationism, Psychics, Anti-Vaccination bullshits, and the list goes on. One of the most valuable lessons I have learned from this show is to consider sources and do your own research when you are presented with information that seems counter intuitive or just bizarre in any way. They also do a good job of pointing out how bad the media often is at responsibly presenting science-based news.

So recently I've been enjoying the occasional glass of milk. And, like many people I have been told time and time again that milk contains a significant amount of pus. So I decided to do some of my own research on the topic and came to find that this is pretty much total bullshit.

At first glance of all the information that was coming up via Google searches, I was disheartened to see all kinds of articles and reports supporting the notion that milk was full of pus. Then I began to notice that the great majority of these sources were using terms such as "pus cells" and "somatic cells aka 'pus'". So after a little research in the science-minded side of the net I came to find that there is in fact no such thing as "pus cells" and that somatic cells are literally "any cells that make up the body of an organism".

So that's what pus isn't. Turns out that what pus is, is the bacteria gathered by white blood cells to be excreted out of the body in one way or another. The presence of white blood cells in milk is natural and healthy. On a side note, most arguments claiming that milk contains blood are technically true because of this, but any milk that gets contaminated with whole blood (usually in the cases of infection) is marked as a health hazard and disposed of.

I could go on for a little while longer but nobody is going to read this anyway. But just to wrap up my stupid rant, lets consider that blood or pus or some form of bacteria makes it into the pumped milk due to an infection or whatever. In the more severe and obvious cases of contamination it would be thrown out for violation of the FDA's strict dairy guidelines. In other cases of mild contamination, this bacteria would be destroyed during the pasteurization process.


In closing, fuck you guys I'm going to start drinking milk a lot more frequently.

The drug "pot".

One night when I was heavily influenced by the drug "pot", I opened up Photoshop and went to work on what I thought would be the funniest picture of all time. It ended up falling very, very short, and my execution was sloppy at best... Here's R&B phenom Seal and remnants of his wife Heidi Klum that I failed to erase completely.


Monday, February 2, 2009

hahah



It says "TATTOO" on his neck.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Shearwater - Rook [2008]


Download


I've been diggin' the shit out of this album. Here I have provided it for download courtesy of LucidMedia. For anybody who is into mellow(er) rock in general, I suggest the download. The vocalist is quite superb in his ability to go from soothing and steady to loud and powerful.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

The Party Pad



This is a little comic made by my friend Shelby that made me laugh whole-heartedly. Check out his/his house's blog at:

http://thepartypad.blogspot.com/.

While you're at it, check out Shelby's website for a load of cool drawings/paintings made by him:

http://www.sruart.com

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Thrift store find becomes photoshop mishap!

Tate found this photograph when we were rummaging through thrift stores in Oakland today. I saw infinite potential for photoshop fucking-withs and upon arriving home took some photos of Cameron, Megan and myself to use in the photoshopin'. Here is the original:


and the fucked with:

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Fingers as teeth and other downgrades.

I've had a Photoshop project idea for about a week. Cameron and I finally made it a reality... So here he is with fingers as teeth and other downgrades.


click to enlarge

Rock out with me.

This song makes me wanna get wild... and stay wild.

Who says you can't teach an old cat new tricks?

I don't think anybody says that. But this post is to make sure nobody ever does.

Our cat-child Katerina (aka Katman) can be a real bitch. She'll meow incessantly for no good reason and scratch things really loudly to wake us up in the morning. I've been training her though. Using a standard plastic spray bottle, I've been squirting her with water every time she gives me lip, and recently I've noticed great improvements. Now when she starts to act up all I have to do is grab the spray bottle and point it at her and she cowers away quietly. I have never felt this powerful in my life. It makes me want to punch something. I'll start with Megan and see how I feel after I'm done. Seeya guys.


Oh yeah, here's another old drawing I did that was colored by the mighty Austin Ivansmith. This was from when I worked at Video Video in Santa Cruz a few years back. It would have disappeared into obscurity had Austin not revitalized it with his skills.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Color added to sketch.

My good pal Austin did a quick color job on one of my posted sketches. I like it quite a bit. (Sorry I missed your AIM message Austin, I was playing MK vs. DC. I'm sending that piece of shit back to gamefly first thing in the morning.)


Old sketch

Digging through old sketchbooks hoping to find some content to display. Not much that stood out, but I like this guy. (Not so much the owl though.)

Scan from work 6

So I'm gonna get the rest of these stupid work scans out of the way. Here's the remaining drawings. As you can see, I saved the shittiest for last. In this mix we have a native american tranny, retired rabbit pilot, and a few other miscreants.