Exerpt from the short story Blagdaross by Lord Dunsany

And then there spoke the piece of an old cord. "I was made in a place of doom, and doomed men made my fibres, working without hope. Therefore there came a grimness into my heart, so that I never let anything go free when once I was set to bind it. Many a thing have I bound relentlessly for months and years; for I used to come coiling into warehouses where the great boxes lay all open to the air, and one of them would be suddenly closed up, and my fearful strength would be set on him like accurse, and if his timbers groaned when first I seized them, or if they creaked aloud in the lonely night, thinking of woodlands out of which they came, then I only gripped them tighter still, for the poor useless hate is in my soul of those that made me in the place of doom. Yet, for all the things that my prison-clutch has held, the last work that I did was to set something free. I lay idle one night in the gloom on the warehouse floor. Nothing stirred there, and even the spider slept. Towards midnight a great flock of echoes suddenly leapt up from the wooden planks and circled round the roof. A man was coming towards me all alone. And as he came his soul was reproaching him, and I saw that there was a great trouble between the man and his soul, for his soul would not let him be, but went on reproaching him.

"Then the man saw me and said, 'This at least will not fail me.' When I heard him say this about me, I determined that whatever he might require of me it should be done to the uttermost. And as I made this determination in my unfaltering heart, he picked me up and stood on an empty box that I should have bound on the morrow, and tied one end of me to a dark rafter; and the knot was carelessly tied, because his soul was reproaching him all the while continually and giving him no ease. Then he made the other end of me into a noose, but when the man's soul saw this it stopped reproaching the man, and cried out to him hurriedly, and besought him to be at peace with it and to do nothing sudden; but the man went on with his work, and put the noose down over his face and underneath his chin, and the soul screamed horribly.

"Then the man kicked the box away with his foot, and the moment he did this I knew that my strength was not great enough to hold him; but I remembered that he had said I would not fail him, and I put all my grim vigour into my fibres and held by sheer will. Then the soul shouted to me to give way, but I said:

"'No; you vexed the man.'

"Then it screamed for me to leave go of the rafter, and already I was slipping, for I only held on to it by a careless knot, but I gripped with my prison grip and said:

"'You vexed the man.'

"And very swiftly it said other things to me, but I answered not; and at last the soul that vexed the man that had trusted me flew away and left him at peace. I was never able to bind things any more, for every one of my fibres was worn and wrenched, and even my relentless heart was weakened by the struggle. Very soon afterwards I was thrown out here. I have done my work."

New drawlins

This one is a work in progress:

This started off as a contour drawing and I liked the finished product so I decided to add versions of the character to the above drawing.


Oh, and a very brief attempt to add shadow in photoshop:

Marriage and a new drawing.

Hello all you all. Got married the other day, it was excellent. Went on a great old honeymoon in Big Sur. Stayed in a quaint little cabin and explored the forests and beaches of the area (pictures soon?). I made the mistake of watching the movie Antichrist a day before our wedding. Spectacular film, but quite unsettling. Anywho, here's a drawing I did while at the cabin (color/lighting effects courtesy of photoshop).

Little canvas.

Something I drew on a tiny canvas for Megan a few weeks ago.

Quick little mock-up eh?

Drawing.

Little somethin I drew up at 4 in the morning after a wyld nyte.

Quck lil' update.

Hello peenfolk. I bring to you two more recent drawings - neither of which are stellar - and an updated/modified drawing.

Omegle.com antics

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: HI~
You: HEY YOU STRANGER FUCKIN PEENWEEN
Stranger: = ='''
You: looking for christian singles?
Stranger: r u crazy?
You: suck em out of my raunchy peenweenis
You: my peen breeds christian single babies
Stranger: i can't understand u
You: Well you see
You: sorry I started off crazy
You: what's your name?
You: My BF went raw on me a few months ago
You: and I am about to give birth to a christian single
Stranger: April
Stranger: and u?
You: from my peenween
You: My name is also April
You: do you ever get that feeling?
Stranger: oh really?
You: What month were you born?
You: answer the fuckin question april
Stranger: JULY
You: 3 months after...
You: april
Stranger: ok
You: I was also born in the month of July
Stranger: i never feel it
You: on the 4th?
You: were you born on the 4th?
Stranger: yes....
You: as was I
Stranger: ridiculous@@
Stranger: haha
You: it's crazy
Stranger: wow
You: just signing onto this website
You: running into your identical twin
You: so we should meet up
Stranger: how old are you
You: you first
Stranger: you can leave your msn?
You: what's msn?
You: MICROSOFT NETWORK
Stranger: msn messenger....
You: but what does msn stand for?
Stranger: yes
You: how old are you?
You: me too
Stranger: or you have any chat tool?
Stranger: 17
You: oh, yeah, me too
You: yeah I have this website called omegle that i use
Stranger: only this?
You: Yeah, what more do you need?
You: I leave the window open if I find a friend
Stranger: how do u chat with your family,friends?
You: I use my telephone
You: lol such a relic
Stranger: oh~~
Stranger: haha
You: remember the movie "THE RELIC"
Stranger: where r u come from?
You: Yeranus
Stranger: what's that movie taking about?
Stranger: talking
You: It's talking about like the sins of man and how they catch up with us through our history
You: "THE RELIC"
You: that's what ends up haunting us
Stranger: OKAY!!!i'll write down
You: yeah u gotta see it
You: we should go see it sometimes
You: you and I could become really close and great
Stranger: yes i thnk too
You: I'm glad I've found you
Stranger: think
You: so what do you want to do now that we are besties
Stranger: i want to practice my english
Stranger: me too
You: you should come sit in my beanbag chairs and play old games
You: relic games
You: like the NINTENDO ENTERTAINMENT RELIC
You: we can play some relic-style shit
Stranger: what old games?
You: THE RELIC the movie the game
You: THERELIC-themovie.com
You: do your research
Stranger: oh. u r addicted to this movie
You: yeah I am campaigning for it
Stranger: haha
You: my boss said to become best friends with as many people as I could and get them into this dope flick
You: You dig?
You: Hey when are we gonna go picnicing in the countryside
Stranger: dig?
Stranger: haha
You: We can frolick around in the grass and rent the relic
You: "YOU DIG" is a slang for like "are you into that notion?"
You: rather "Do you agree or support that notion?"
Stranger: sorry
Stranger: my english is not well
You: The notion of frolicking in the grass and renting the relic
You: your english is wyld
You: I can get behind your style of wyld english
You: you should bring it to the states
You: we'd all get behind that
You: and while we were back there behind it
You: we'd talk shit about it
You: you should stop by friday we can frolick to the theater and catch a movie
Stranger: wyld english what that?
You: the relic is playing 7:45 on thursday
Stranger: oh
You: YOU'VE BEEN SHOOTIN' THE SHIT WITH RELIC_BOT - CATCH THE RELIC THURSDAY NIGHT AT 7:45 ONLY ON TBS
Stranger: it's a old movie

Peeing outside at night.

Let's talk weein' outside for a moment. Just about any fella who grew up in a fairly isolated area has likely developed a profound appreciation for peeing outside at night. Having lived in San Francisco for the past few years, this is a pleasure I seldom get to enjoy.

The other night, while under the spell of some loco herbweed and overwhelmed with the need-2-pee I decided I'd just go out on my fire escape and go weewee into the parking lot below. I will have it known that it was about 2 or 3 in the morning and my fire escape is in a pretty dark and isolated area. And so I climbed out my window and withdrew my Weenis Peebringer. I looked up at the stars and began the ceremony. As soon as the tinkle began I became aware of the massive buildings in the distance. I quickly got nervous and the wee ceased to flow. I stood there scared for a moment and tried to zone out and look at the stars in attempt to continue what I had started. I looked down and saw the city lights reflected in my awkwardly distributed puddles of peeeepeeee. The pattern really spoke volumes about my feelings at the time. I flexed my mind for a moment before realizing the futility of my actions. I sheathed my weemaker and climbed back into my apartment. I took a seat on my couch and stared at the floor, I was both sad and scared. What am I doing here in a city surrounded by towers of people. People who would gladly put a quarter into one of those tourist telescopes so they could watch me pee. I have yet to think of a good answer to that question, and that is why we will likely be moving back to SLO sometime within the next couple of years.

(Alternate Ending: I grabbed my sprayfinger and screamed at it as though it were a microphone. It responded by covering me in its weeblo.)

New drawlin'

70's space alien feller... pen, marker & watercolor.

Some things I gots.

Hey wonderpeople. Went to the Alameda antique fair dealie today... Found a few excellent items that I am pretty pumped on:



Anatomical illustrations of diseased peens. (Over 150 years old and colored by hand.)


Baby being stolen out of a woman's vagina with forceps. (Around 100 yrs old.)


Illustration of various eye infections and irregularities. (Around 100 yrs old.)


Skull of a Roe Buck from Switzerland.


We hung it all up with some previously collected relics in our hallway:



Here's a close-up of the Stephen Kasner print that Megan got me for my birthday last year:

Introduction to my USB microscope: Cockroach and Bloodletting

Here are a couple videos I made with my USB microscope followed by some still photos.

A dying cockroach:


This is me poking my hand with a wood carving tool. It looks pretty brutal up close, but the resulting wound was literally a tiny speck on my hand.


Close up of my t-shirt:


Hanna's finger up close:


Eisenhower's profile on a dollar coin:


Muh woman's ring-bling:

The post Michael Jackson era of Rotten Yella.

Hello there everyone. If you are reading this, Michael Jackson is no longer with us. Many other unfortunate souls have also passed on since we last spoke. People from regions where talent is given no chance to thrive and develop. Perhaps among these corpses there is a body that may have been a more prominent and admirable "King of pop" if given the materials and life span. I think what I'm doing here is trying to express how annoyed I am with the media's response to his passing. Several days later there are still multiple MJ related headlines on Yahoo's front page. Some of these headlines have even stated that he died "before his time"... this strikes me as being blatantly untrue, and I think that even MJ himself may agree with me here. His "time" ended quite a few years ago, when he stopped releasing decent music and named his kid Blanket. His body even began decomposing at an alarming rate. The last time I recall seeing him in the news was when he was photographed hanging his son off of a balcony. A terrifying image it was; a ghastly husk of a man smirking as he dangled a frightened child off of a ledge... Acknowledge his passing by revisiting his music and dancing around with your wiener out, but do not weep for him my children, for even as a godless heathen I can say with some confidence that he is in a better place.

Anyway, here's the Rotten Yellow logo as it appeared on page with a little color modification. In addition you will see that I started to draw an Indian chief on the same page and lost interest.

New look.

Hey peenworshippers. Got a new logo up and I plan on posting regularly again. I have a USB microscope that has been a great deal of fun. I'll post some stuff from that, and some new drawings and stuff. So keep your vaginas peeled.

A small rant... a rantlette if you will.

Lemme just get this off my chest cause grinding my teeth brings no relief. There is a horrendous vocab trend afoot. I speak of the saying "I know right?" and it's little brother "right?". (Of course there was nothing wrong with "right?" until it was turned into a shortened version of "you know right?" and given the drastic change in pitch.) I can't take it anymore. It started off slowly and was easy to ignore; being used by horrendous television personalities and the occasional co-worker. But now it is a swollen beast gnashing its teeth at my door and being nourished and egged on by the lowest ends of the pop culture spectrum. It has come to people on the internet abbreviating it to "IKR" and print outs in the work place presenting "I know right?" as a vocabulary word in a dictionary. These people can save their syllables and sound infinitely less moronic by simply saying "I know." or "yes." Oh, and while I'm at it, I hate when people say "really?" as a substitute for "Are you kidding me?". I have no substantial reason to hate that one other than the fact that it just sounds idiotic and condescending.


There is also a lot to be said about "FAIL", "EPIC FAIL" and any form of "____ FAIL", recently made popular by the increasingly horrendous failblog. That shit is horrible. If you are unfamiliar, the blog consists of photos of various mistakes and mishaps that on their own contain a punchline and could maybe get a laugh out of somebody. However, to some garbage people they are not sufficient and require the word "FAIL" or "EPIC FAIL" in order to be escalated into the realm of comedic genius. Here's an example that makes me want to kick something with my bare foot just so I can have a tangible reason to be angry.




Aaaanyway, I know these are petty annoyances and that I am probably guilty of some pretty obnoxious shit, but I am entitled to hate whatever I please. And to be fair, I know some cool people who have adopted these sayings and am coming to terms with their new flaws.